My Parents Are Aliens

Brian buys a racing pigeon for Harry. The pigeon is called Humphrey and Harry likes him for the outset. When Humphrey goes missing, Brian is blamed, so he tries to make things better by morphing into Humphrey himself. Meanwhile, Sophie morphs into Josh and sets up a stall selling stolen medical supplies. This gets Josh into a massive amount of trouble but Sophie saves the day by making Mr. Whiteside let Josh out of the punishment. When this problem is sorted there is one more problem to be solved, Harry entered Brain as a pigeon into a race where he has to make it home again from the starting line and he hasn't found his way home for days. Three days after Brian was sent into the race he returns to find that everyone loves him and is glad to see him.

Brian's hostile behaviour puts the family at loggerheads with their new neighbours, Brian doesn't get on well with them since he eats their roses (calling it 'The War Of The Roses') – which proves unfortunate for a love struck Lucy.

Josh needs an alibi from Harry to cover himself from some misdemeanor, but Harry of course refuses. Trent advises him he might have more success if he broke a habit of a lifetime and tried being nice to her. He gives it his best shot-but to no avail. Sophie causes Lucy yet more embarrassment-this time at the swimming baths where she makes a fool of herself sinking instead of swimming. Sophie takes herself off to the river to practice and morphs a spectacular tail but fails to morph back owing to the pollution of the water. As a result the family have to cope with a new Sophie in mermaid mode. And she has a spectacular effect-not least on Andy The Freak. Fed up with losing to CJ from Hide-And-Seek, Brian changes the geography of the house and causes chaos for the whole family. This is the only other episode where the bathroom in the Barker/Johnston household is seen.

All the children are revising for exams (apart from Josh – obviously, he has stolen all the answers already). Then, Josh finds out that he has won a year's supply of chocolate. Brian is delighted and becomes addicted to it, but all the children ban Brian from eating anymore. Brian is furious when a tube of chocolate falls out of Josh's pocket and he finds out Josh has been eating chocolate when he can't. So he declares: "If I can't have chocolate, then no-one can!". He sets himself up as a South American military dictator, prohibiting "chocolate and/or cocoa related products", and enforcing the ban with by imprisonment and torture, notably on CJ. Meanwhile Lucy tells Sophie that sometimes stress can help people perform better, so Sophie becomes an Austrian psychoanalyst, stressing Lucy with seemingly random violence and explosives.

Confused by ideas of right and wrong, Brian decides wrestling is the best way to settle arguments. Meanwhile, Sophie is given the opportunity to eavesdrop on Whiteside's private moments.

Sophie decides that she must become a nanny in order to see more of the children. Meanwhile, Mr. Whiteside thinks he's seen a ghost after Brian morphs into the spitting image of a long-dead former school headmaster. Lucy, worried about a test, downloads an alien virus into the school computers however this takes a downward turn.

Lucy is due for a vaccination at school and it becomes evident that uncharacteristic though it may be for her, she is dead scared. After Mr Whiteside pickpockets Josh's music player and drops it in his tea, Josh uses Brian and fixes everyone's electronics for £5. Mr Whitside also asks him to fix his. Brian ends up destroying everything, including Mr Whiteside's gadget! Sophie gets into photography and pursues all the kids around the house in attempt to get some candid shots. But when she takes it upon herself to capture Lucy's fear as she waits for her injection at school, she unwittingly motivates the kids to turn the tables on her. Brian, fed up of always being criticized for his behaviour, decides he is only going to do as he is told and adopts an attitude of total subservience. But he can't anticipate how complicated it can get when he tries to obey orders from one person, especially when that person is Josh.

When Harry cooks Brian and Sophie a romantic meal to help them patch up their differences after an argument, the aliens quickly go to the other extreme and become totally wrapped up in their passion for one another, (much to the children's embarrassment). However, when Josh tries to cool their ardor, Brian becomes convinced that he's trying to steal Sophie's heart. Meanwhile Lucy is up for a prize at school... until Brian and Sophie take it too far.

Sophie tries to help Josh woo Tania by turning him into a talented musician. Brian is introduced, by CJ, to the ancient Roman concept of fascism and quickly imposes his own absolute rule on the household to get his way – idea of democracy and declares himself emperor of the household.

Harry signs up for a boxing tournament after Trent says girls shouldn't compete in the sport, but her confidence takes a knock when she sees her opponent. Brian is bullied by a little schoolboy and Sophie dresses up as a hamburger.

After worrying that he will not be remembered when he dies, Brian goes on a quest to find the Holy Grail with CJ. Josh participates in work experience at the diner. Wendy and Lucy start a company producing potato powered clocks, and Sophie helps make them, however, she is told off by Lucy for giving them all away free. Sophie then founds "Sophie.com International" which sells useless coconut toys, yet these are a hit. Her business is about to go international until Lucy discovers she is enslaving children to make the toys.

After CJ nearly chokes on a gobstopper, Brian decides to learn some first aid in order to keep the family safe. After injuring the school nurse, he morphs into the replacement and Mr Whiteside falls in love with him. Josh meets a girl but when he realizes that she is a psycho, pretends to be gay, going out with Pete until he finds out that she is rich. Lucy tells the girls in her class that she wants to get her nose pierced making her instantly popular... until she reveals that her piercing is a fake! Because of this piece of metal she goes from −100 to hero...and straight down again!!

Josh and Brian vie to see which of them can tell the scariest Hallowe'en story, but Sophie can't understand why it's fun to be frightened.

Harry gets angry with Sophie for not providing for her properly, even though she is doing the best she can. The example of this is Cold Scrambled eggs. This gives Sophie the idea of opening a hotel, so that she can at least get paid for running around after people. Guests start to arrive at the house, and Brian causes chaos by messing with the central heating.

"Great Versace's ghost!" Brian cries as he takes the role of fashion designer and forces the children to wear his fruity clothes and curtains. Meanwhile, Sophie collaborates with Josh in yet another fraudulent scheme, this time a pet selling scam involving a pot bellied pig, and a lot of icecream...

Josh, Pete and Frankie are in competition for the attention of a new girl in school, but there's a surprise in store for one of them when they discover who she is. Mel has left for Canada and Brian is suffering in her absence, so takes matters into his own hands by getting a 'new Mel' from the children's home, while Lucy is enjoying having a room to herself, which soon changes as CJ starts launching desperate attempts to move in, even resorting to 'becoming' a girl!

Brian decides to take up a hobby and begins collecting spoons. Mel tries to express her feelings for Trent by putting together a tape of songs while Sophie becomes a rapper and disrupts the school concert with a raucous performance.

Josh builds up his muscles to impress a sporty girl, but Brian's attempts to help him land a date with her end in disaster. Sophie leads a classroom revolt against her teacher, and Trent blackmails Mel over a pair of pants.

Lucy grumbles that her school work is too easy, but is horrified when Brian and Sophie tell her teacher about her complaints. Brian organises a break-in into the school in order to procure Lucy's school report, while Josh sets up an online dating agency and Mel encourages Trent to emphasise his masculinity

Brian makes his first ever visit to the dentist – with predictably chaotic consequences. And Sophie tries out a bit of body improvement. She has blonde hair, a tan, a purple dress and very large breasts.

The children are outraged to discover Sophie has put them up for sale on the Internet – and what's even more mortifying is the price she's asking. The family also get involved in the school charity fair, where Mrs Hardman ends up dancing with three different Joshes.

Josh's latest scheme ends in detention after he sells a computer password to Frankie, while Brian watches a series of sci-fi films and discovers the general public believe aliens to be bad guys – so he sets about changing people's opinions.

Brian looks for meaning in his life and invents a religion (which he names Brianism), while Sophie becomes obsessed with celebrity magazines. Lucy objects to CJ saying a certain word, so he tricks her into saying it herself

Josh finally manages to land a date with gorgeous Tania Thomas, the girl of his dreams, but it soon goes all wrong after Brian & Sophie have created a super strong glue mixture. This is one of the two episodes where the Bathroom in the Barker-Johnsons household is seen.

Brian gives Mel an alien-style makeover in the middle of the night, but the effects prove short-lived

Brian kills a spider and is so ashamed that he sets up an animal sanctuary – in the house. Sophie suspects Lucy has a secret boyfriend called Derek

Sophie starts to read fairy tales and soon notices that having a wicked stepmother is a necessary first step on the road to living happily ever after. Determined to ensure the children enjoy a blissful old age, she starts behaving in a thoroughly nasty fashion

Dissatisfied with the level of affection his foster son is prepared to show him, Brian creates a robot double of Josh... and causes total chaos. The robot Josh in one scene parody's Johnny from The Shining.

Brian is turned into a vampire for Hallowe'en and targets teacher Whiteside as his first victim, while Josh and Pete vow to take revenge on Poppy Manning for scaring them last year. Sophie finds a love letter that Mel has written to Trent and concocts a plan to bring them together

Mel goes into training to become an ace pool player, so as to be able to play with the boys. Brian gets in touch with his 'feminine side'.

Mel notices a hunky boy who seems to attract all the girls. He seems to know her too – but there's a shock in store for her when she discovers who he really is. She persuades Sophie to morph into a girl from school (played by Lucinda Rhodes-Flaherty of KateModern fame) and gets her to find out more about him. It turns out to be Andy The Freak. After Frankie and Pete refuse to hang out with Josh, he investigates and find out that they attend a stamp collecting club. He then hesitates to be seen with them, fearing people will think he too is a stamp collector. Mel bans Brian from playing with CJ, fearing he will 'break' him as he does with everything else. However, whilst playing pirates, Brian breaks CJ's leg after knocking him off the top of the sofa with a plank. Continuing to play pirates, Brian then goes onto bury all his 'treasure' including the TV, fridge, Microwave, and CJ.

Brian turns himself into a super hero. Josh won't act as his sidekick so Brian brings home eight-year-old CJ. Soon, the new boy is Brian's biggest fan – but alarm bells start to ring when CJ reveals he wants to stay on as part of the family.

Brian is still protesting for disabled access at the diner. But soon everyone notices that he is just lazy, until he actually has a wheelchair accident. Meanwhile Sophie changes places with the school rabbit so that Josh can get the reward money off Poppy Manning and Mel discovers that Francis is actually Frankie.

Brian is out buying a bicycle, but ends up in a wheelchair. Not that he had been beaten up, but he loved the wheelchair and rejected the bicycle. Lucy overhears Wendy's Mum saying to Mrs. Hardman that Wendy only has four weeks to live. Meanwhile, Brian protests at the diner for disabled access and Mel is recovering from a mud mask that went horribly wrong and having to be guided round school by a guy called 'Francis'...which is actually Frankie!

Brian dreads the arrival of April Fool's Day, convinced Josh is bound to play a practical joke on him – but Sophie welcomes it, eager for the opportunity to have a little harmless fun at Lucy's expense.

Sophie decides to accompany Lucy to advanced mathematics classes after school, but it soon becomes clear that Sophie has fallen in love with Mr. Whiteside, the teacher. Brian feels that he is losing Sophie (and her ability to cook disgusting meals which deeply satisfy Brian) to Mr. Whiteside, so he sneaks into school and kidnaps Mr. Whiteside, and then morphs into Mr. Whiteside himself, to try to pretend to Sophie that Mr. Whiteside is "evil". Unfortunately his plan is ruined when Sophie invites Brian and Mr. Whiteside to have a meal together with her.

Lucy is horrified to find a wart growing on her face. But not as horrified as Brian, who has discovered the real purpose of the bath; he develops a taste for shower gel and is obsessed with hygiene-until he starts shrinking!

Brian decides to give the attic, now filled with a bed, cinema screen, drinks cooler, &c., to the member of the family who loves him the most, but Lucy walks away from the contest, saying she loves Brian as a father, "no more, no less". Josh and Mel then compete in vain to win Brian's affections. Meanwhile, Sophie tries to boost her self-esteem. Based on Shakespeare's King Lear.

After Brian accidentally leaves the front door open, Brian and Sophie come home to find all their furniture stolen. Brian responds by morphing into 'The Cat' to steal furniture from other homes, and this becomes his latest hobby. Josh discovers Brian's secret and (predictably) uses it to his own advantage. Meanwhile, Sophie becomes obsessed with home security, putting traps everywhere (which are mostly triggered by the Josh rather than burglars) and fears about the burglar worry Lucy so much that she begins to wet the bed.

Lucy is the captain of the school chess team and Brian starts to feel proud of her achievements. In an attempt to feel proud, Sophie imprisons Josh in his room, now a cell with a Telescreen, where he is forced to study and exercise, as in Nineteen Eighty-Four. Josh fails in his studies, but instead creating a clever means of escaping punishment from Sophie and her electronic torture device. Though Sophie learns the truth, she find pride in Josh's elaborate lies. Meanwhile, Brian takes Wendy's place to ensure that the school win their chess competition, learning, however, that pride is not found through cheating.

Brian and Sophie learn about age concerns which leads them to either wanting to move in a retirement home or get wrinkles! Meanwhile, Josh's voice breaks and uses it to pretend he's Brian phoning school to say that Josh is ill.

When Lucy insists that there's no such thing as luck (it's all just a question of mathematical probability), Brian is determined to prove her wrong. He purchases a pair of Josh's 'lucky' underpants and is delighted to immediately win a free pen and a pound.

Josh is confident that his "treat 'em mean, keep 'em keen" tactics will eventually win the heart of his school friend Tanya. Sophie decides that humans tell lies all the time, making her highly suspicious of everything her family says. Mel persuades Trent to let her stand in for him as school magazine agony aunt, but can she really summon up as much sensitivity as he does? Mel's determined to prove to him that she can. In a desperate bid to prove to Josh that he can lie convincingly, Brian tells Pete that Tanya fancies him. But when Pete and Tanya arrange a date, Brian has some quick thinking to do before Josh's heart is broken. Brian discovers that lying can cause a lot of trouble, while Mel finds out that telling the truth can, too.

Brian has a new pet: Fluffy the goldfish, but when she's fed on a diet of fried egg, bacon and beans, the unfortunate Fluffy soon floats off to the big fish tank in the sky, leaving Brian devastated. He then holds a funeral for his beloved Fluffy, which goes well. Josh attempts a challenge at the diner: eating 50 courses. He asks Brian to morph into him, and eat 48 of the courses. The first course is fish fingers, devastating Brian. He quits, leaving Josh to eat all the food. Mel later takes out insurance with dozens of spare goldfish, which she stores in the bathroom, and Brian thinks that the new fish is Fluffy back from the dead.

Brian feels rejected when Sophie chooses to watch repeats of Geoff Jefferson, Criminal Prosecutor, on cable TV, instead of taking part in his indoor Olympic Games. Josh also has grievances with Sophie's television hogging – the wrestling team have paid him in advance for tapes of special shows. This is not true. Lucy cuts the cable on the TV to end the suffering, but it ends up with Sophie putting Brian's pet rat on trial. Brian is devastated, so tries to put the blame on himself. Lucy then admits and ends up being captured and rescued on the same night.

Today Mel is fed up with Lucy's controlling behaviour and decides to move out of their bedroom and into the attic. Sophie sees this as the perfect opportunity to step in as Lucy's new sister. Lucy is incensed, but when Sophie and Wendy abandon her too, she begins to wonder whether she might be in the wrong after all. Josh is desperate to scam Frankie's signed united football shirt from him, and Brian agrees to morph into Mel as part of a cunning plan. But Josh is about to get a taste of his own medicine for once.

When Lucy gets in trouble with one of her teachers for apparently copying homework, Brian and Sophie discover the power of punishment. Poppy writes an article in the school magazine criticising Josh. Mel accidentally kills the school budgie and Josh writes this in his own school magazine. To get revenge, Mel gets Brian to morph into Josh and take naked pictures of himself to give to Poppy to print in her magazine.

Continued from the previous episode. Brian and Sophie's attempts to embrace the opposite gender become more and more extreme. Brian tries to be a better father by becoming more sensitive, while Sophie gets in touch with her masculine side. Josh still attempts to get the video game from Poppy.

On Father's Day, Sophie gets upset that she has never received any Mother's Day gifts. Brian sets out to prove he is the World's Best Dad. Josh tries to gain the new video game "Gnomes Of Vengeance" from the new girl, Poppy Manning, but she will only give games to girls. Josh asks Lucy to get the game from Poppy for him. Lucy agrees on one condition – that Josh pays her £54.60. Mel is upset when Brian thinks she is a boy. The episode concludes with Sophie attempting to be more masculine by working out and Brian attempting to become more feminine by growing breasts.

To celebrate their "phone-iversary" Josh convinces Sophie and Brian to buy him a new mobile phone. Sophie also gives a mobile phone to Brian, however the phone wipes his mind of all his alien memories. Meanwhile, Josh believes his mathematics teacher has fallen for him. Josh, Lucy and Wendy all discover love through texting.

It's Valentine's Day, and Josh is trying to get a date with Tanya Thomas, but makes the foolish mistake of taking Brian's advice on matters of the heart. Mel is the object of desire of Andy the Freak and Frankie when all she wants is a 'joke' Valentine's card from Trent. Sophie follows her heart and writes a card to her true love: the dishwasher. Sophie asks the family what Valentine's Day is, but in an episode a few years ago when Barbara Durkin played Sophie she is trying to act calm in front of a teacher who has come to visit the house and she says "This happened to me once on Val.... Valentine's Day".

Josh fails his biology exam and has to retake it in 2 days. Brian goes to see Mrs Hardman and says he can do better and can make Josh clever. Brian morphs into Josh and does the exam instead. Meanwhile, Lucy is having troubles in the orchestra because she can't play her instrument and gives up.

Brian and Sophie are not technically married, so Lucy arranges a wedding to bring the family closer together, but her grand ideas are nothing compared to Sophie's. Brian learns it is hard to choose a best man. When Mel gets angry about the wedding, they decide not to have a proper wedding, but a friendship ceremony instead.

Lucy discovers she has a talent for judo, and Brian thinks the only way to keep her as his friend is to tag along. Sophie then decides she wants to be Trent's friend. However, she later brings a live duck into the house to cook. Trent gets upset when he sees this and asks her what's going on. Mel tells him that Sophie is making a statement about vegetarianism, so he thinks they are vegetarians. Meanwhile, Lucy gets ready to go to Paris for a judo competition.

Brian and Sophie become hooked on a trading card game, and will go to any lengths to obtain more cards. They end up stealing and selling the school laptop. They then discover there is a rare card (Madonna) that they need to find. They find the card, but realise they have wasted their time and money. They feel very silly.

Mel gets a job offer as an assistant to a fashion photographer. However, her audition takes place during school, so she goes to the audition whilst Sophie (who is not a very gifted morpher) morphs into Mel and goes to school. Unfortunately, she goes around kissing everyone, including Trent, Frankie and Mrs. Hardman. She is referred to a child psychologist. Sophie panics when seeing the psychologist and Mel arrives to take over. She soon transforms to a lady with Red hair to make sure the psychologist doesn't see there are two Mel's. However, Sophie cannot morph back to her original human form, and decides to keep another look, thus introducing a new looking Sophie (Carla Medonça).

Mel goes to school in trousers, as she feels the school rule that girls must wear skirts is sexist, whilst Lucy is looking after the school hamster which Josh promptly loses by trying to make some money with it.

Lucy is selected to represent the school in a Science Tournament where she has to build a rocket with maximum propulsion – which proves to be too difficult a task for her, so Sophie offers to help. Brian enters one of Mel's photograph's in an art contest. Josh tries to bribe Scott Taylor into letting him join the football team and get to go to Holland and almost loses Frankie and Pete as friends.

Lucy and Wendy are on the verge of falling out, as Wendy is upset that Lucy never invites her to her house. They arrange a sleepover, and Sophie and Brian must act as normal as possible. Meanwhile, Josh is charging Sophie for doing chores around the house so that he can later buy a snooker table.

Josh wants to have a wild party for his class (including resident tough-guy, Big Verne) so he tries to make the rest of the family go on a holiday. Mel is aggravated by her family's constant need for attention when all she wants some privacy to write a song to enter into a competition with Trent.

Josh injures himself during sports, so Brian attempts to fix him with a home-made machine. However, the machine instead makes Josh a chess champion and a maths prodigy by mistake, making Lucy feel threatened as she is outplayed in chess.

When Lucy wins tickets to see Blink 182 in a competition, Josh is desperate to take them off her hands – after all, he's a huge fan of the band, and Lucy's such a geek she's never even heard of Blink 182. Lucy agrees to give the tickets to Josh, but on one condition: Josh has to perform a truly unselfish deed in order to qualify for the tickets. Of course it's a terrible struggle for the scam-meister, but Josh learns a whole lot about himself in the process. Elsewhere Mel is upset (though refuses to show it) when Trent appears to be going on a date with another girl. The confusion is resolved later in the episode when it turns out that Kelly is Trent's cousin, not his date and he and Mel become friends again.

Brian decides that he and everyone else should become a proper family so Brian enters a quiz night, however Lucy doesn't want to join so she goes to join Wendy's team and ends up playing against her family who will win and what will happen?

When Mel skips school to visit her mother's grave (she won't explain why at first) her teacher Mr Coleman decides it's time to pay a home a visit. Meanwhile, Brian has developed an allergy that causes him to sneeze and morph uncontrollably. Mel starts training Sophie to behave like a 'real' mother, while Lucy attempts to diagnose Brian's allergy. Unfortunately, during his visit Mr Coleman sees Brian sprout a new nose and ears, and resolves to return with their social worker. Josh is determined to hold a party to improve his social standing – could this somehow save the whole family from being taken back into care? Will the world find out Brian and Sophie are aliens?