Burnistoun

Burnistoun has its own newspaper, its own radio station and even its own ice-cream van. Drop in and find out how to get a tattoo altered, what makes a good front-page headline, and why football songs are not a sexy choice for singers in girl groups.

Specially selected highlights from the sketch show set in a fictional Scottish town that's strangely familiar. Including Paul and Walter - the snippy siblings who run an ice-cream van; the Burnistoun MP who cares passionately about the Dekebone roundabout and the incredible sequence of events set about by the flinging of a two-litre bottle of ginger. Plus, if you shout loud enough, can you make a voice-activated lift go up to floor eleven.

One-off special revisiting Burnistoun. This episode mixed up the show's favourite characters with some new creations. Following characters from the first drink of the night to the last dip of pakora in the wee small hours, some of Burnistoun's best-loved characters are back including Jolly Boy John, Quality Polis McGregor and Toshan, best mates Scott and Peter plus the "Up the Road" guys. Meanwhile the selection of new sketches includes beardie hipsters Niko and Kiko, cocktail-sipping 'Exclusive Girls' and extended repercussions as a treatment for erectile dysfunction works a wee bit too well. There's a glimpse of Burnistoun's hoi polloi in high-class toilets and chippies, questionable boxing advice courtesy of the Bryce brothers and birthday party guests driving their mate, Barry, mad. Plus the Radio Burnistoun DJs keep things moving as "the best wee city on God's Green Earth" lets its hair down on a Saturday night.

An impassioned battle with a voice-activated lift, the amazing career trajectory of a single-issue MP, an incredible chain of events set in motion by the tossing of a two-litre bottle of ginger, Ronnie Stokes tries on the wrong pair of shoes and ends up in hospital, and psychic Sammy Strange tries to predict everything that will happen during an interview on Radio Burnistoun.

Burnistoun's got talent in the shape of a local singing sensation with a unique vocal style, the pioneering BBC Burnistoun takes a look at what soap operas would be like if people actually went to the toilet, and the local meat provider and the town serial killer have a disagreement over who gets to call himself the Burnistoun Butcher.

The Burnistoun hitman discovers it's not easy to assemble a weapon of choice, there's an extremely awkward question about to be asked on the top deck of a Burnistoun bus, a visit to the town's first-ever cloning warehouse, and a local photographer hopes to develop a relationship with wannabe popstar Kelly McGlade.

Paul and Walter have trouble dealing with a customer's order in their ice cream van, Peter and Scott try unusual exercise machines at the gym, Jolly Boy John stars in another video filmed in his bedroom, Marky and Rosso create mayhem in the cinema, and police officers McGregor and Toshan unwittingly leave incriminating marks at a crime scene.

An innocent family sing-song takes a devilish turn, a funeral director solves the problem of choosing between burial and cremation, an ambitious employee panics when the boss tells a joke that fails to amuse, and police officers McGregor and Toshan have a pepper spray battle.

Local entrepreneur Alex Ciderson demonstrates his new invention - a pie scarer, squabbling sibling ice-cream sellers Paul and Walter celebrate their dead mother's birthday with rival birthday cakes, pub singer Ronnie Dreech delivers a literally explosive set, and a young man's chat-up routines are continually foiled as he swallows a succession of insects.

A trendy coffee shop that has an original way of serving a cappuccino, the proprietor of a business specialising in wooden pallets gives us his idea of a sophisticated sales pitch in a specially made TV ad, a high street boutique delivers questionable sartorial advice to a confused punter, and one of Burnistoun's youngest inhabitants escapes punishment for being late for school thanks to an inventive note from his dad.

The local cake shop suffers a decline in sales when a rogue cake decorator is let loose, two punters are unimpressed with the clientele in their local café, the job centre has a new line in compulsory niceness, and all is not well in Burnistoun's leafy suburbs when a resident struggles to put out the correct colour of wheelie bin.

Misguided entrepreneur Alex Ciderson invents a new way of packaging beer, 'quality polis' McGregor and Toshan gatecrash a party, pals Peter and Scott find they have a different approach to shaving a certain part of their anatomy, The Kilty Club's Herry McLoudery massacres another Scots song, and Jolly Boy John displays some unusual ways with pakora.