Best Week Ever

Topics satirized include: FOX's television show American Idol premieres the USA State of the Union speech by Dubya Bush the Iowa Democratic Caucuses Gen. Wes Clark's presidential campaign the film Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King Britney Spears' Toxic video premieres and more.

Topics mocked include: The 2003 Academy Award nominations the Lingerie Bowl Oprah's birthday the New Hampshire Democratic primaries the sanctity of marriage political controversy the 61st Annual Golden Globes Awards (2003) Superbowl parties and more.

Topics that caused humor include: the David Guest interview the Grammy Awards rundown BRAVO's television show Celebrity Poker Showdown diets Tampax winter blahs and Seasonal Affective Disorder and more.

The panelist discuss: Oprah's car giveaway reality shows Martha Stewart super heroes Surreal Life hook-up the CBS's reality show Survivor premieres Dubya Bush is accused of drug use by author Kitty Kelly the NBC reality show The Apprentice and The Donald Nelly's releases two CD's Charlize Theron NBC's sit-com Joey Paris is the new Susanne Sommers the Baldwin brothers disagree over politics The Tony Danza television show and much more. Upgrade and downgrade: ""Rock and Roll"" Hall of Fame Nominees. Who had the best week ever: studio audiences. Closing video: ""1985,"" by Bowling for Soup.

This week the panelists guffawed over: former singer Cat Stevens on governmnet terrorist list Dr. Phil's Prime Time Special Emmy acceptance speeches the Star War Trilogy DVD Dan Rather apologizes to America for faulty broadcast Britney's new marriage the reality show The Amazing Race and The Surreal Life gentler punk-rock Ben Affleck dates Jennifer Garner actor Edward Furlong gets arrested for freeing lobsters Pam Anderson and Jesus Lifetime's television show How Clean is Your House cell phone ring tones and much more. Who had the best week ever: Italian-American stereotypes. For evidence: watch an episode of The Sopranos. Closing video: ""Fall to Pieces,"" by Velvet Revolver.""

Topics bantered by the panelists include: presidential debates Virgin Group honcho Richard Branson space plans via ""Virgin Galactic"" Jay Leno leaving The Tonight Show (er, in five years) UPN's America's Next Top Model Star Jones' wedding plans ABC's new television show Lost celebrity dish like Paris Hilton's new sex tape, and more Queer Eye for the Straight Guy has weak ratings and more. Special segment: undecided voters and political television commercials. Special segment: What your CD purchases say about you. Panelist Christian Finnegan explains the meaning of your musical purchases. Upgrade and downgrade: television cameo appearances. Who's having the best week ever: Conan O'Brian. Closing video: ""Shadow,"" by Ashlee Simpson.

The topics ridiculed this week include: the odd characters in the new season of the American Idol Chris Briggs on the Red Carpet at the Golden Globes; very odd and nutty. the stereotypes found in FOX's 24: Arabs and women take it on the chin on FOX's 24: what happens during the commercial breaks? comedy maestro Christian Finnegan clues us in the Dubya Bush Inauguration celebrity gossip like Colin Farrell likens sex with pizza; after her separation, Jennifer Aniston moves in with hairdresser (can you say: rebound); and more Verne Troyer is a drunken fool on VH1's The Surreal Life and more Upgrade and downgrade: reality show rip-offs like the assorted nanny shows. Special segment: at the beginning of the show Paul Scheer did a skit about the Condoleezza Rice nomination hearing for Secretary of State. Who had the best week ever: caterers. The caterers were big-time at the Presidential Inauguration and at the Golden Globes, and, more importantly, they were visible. Show me

Topics discussed this week include: Oscar Nominations the BWE panelists who were snubbed by Oscar J-Lo's Get Right video FOX's The Simple Life: Nicole Richie is America's new spoiled brat and getting rich in the process the film Alone in the Dark celebrity dish like Pam Anderson and boyfriend Stephen Dorff in a huge fight, natch end of a trend: being gay as a motif on television panelist Doug Benson's instructional video: how to sound like you watch the popular shows (TV small talk) Amazing Race has an inadvertent wet t-shirt contest FOX's American Idol: is Paula losing it? and more Special segment: Paul F. Tompkins, Celebrity Defender -- Robert Blake Edition Who had the best week ever: actor Paul Giamatti; even though he was snubbed by the Oscars he's having a great career. Closing video: ""Get Right,"" by Jennifer Lopez.

The topics the panelists thought were out of control this week include: Michael Jackson fanatics Hardee's food outlets television crime shows Super Bowl parties 50 Cent's Candy Shop video, wow! celebrity dish like Jessica Simpson likes porn and more seemingly gay cartoons Ellen DeGeneres helps Tara Reid find a boyfriend Groundhog Day and Pennsylvania's Punxsutawney Phil and more Upgrade and downgrade: the actors in the Arnold Schwarzenegger biopic See Arnold Run. Special segment: Judah Friedlander at the Sundance Film Festival. Still lonely. Who had the best week ever: gamblers. Gambling is out of control; it's wild in Vegas, people are betting on the Super Bowl and Oscars, poker games are chic, in short, it's everywhere. Closing video: ""Give a Little Bit,"" by the Goo Goo Dolls.

Upgrade Downgrade as directed by Eli Roth; Angelina Jolie & Brad Pitt, Star Jones Reynolds, Project Runway, Heather Graham, Awards Shows; Sizzler: Lindsay Lohan, Michael Jackson; D4L's Laffy Taffy; In Case You Missed it: Dancing with the Stars, Bachelor Paris, Pokemon kid; Best Week Ever: George Takei

American Idol, 24, Golden Globes, Playing Gay, Brangelina; Sizzler: Eva Longoria, Nicole Ritchie & Steve-O, Katie Holmes, Eminem; Nelly's Grillz; I Case You Missed It: Kiefer Sutherland's Japanese commerical, Golden Globes presenters messing up names, Colin Farrell sex tape, Abraham Lincoln documentary; Best Week Ever: Pussycat Dolls

Sundance, American Idol, Kevin Federline, Beauty & the Geek, UPN/WB Merger; Sizzler: Marlon Brando biography, Michael Jackson, Shar Jackson; Taking One for the Team: Nicollette Sheridan; Doggy Steps, In Case You Missed It: Lisa Loeb’s show, the View, Best Week Ever: Jeremy Parker

<I>Dancing with the Stars</I>, Racist TV, Diddy, Katie Couric; Sizzler: Lindsay Lohan needs underpants, Kirsten Dunst’s sex stories, Brad Pitt marriage demands, 50 Cent gets arrested; Paul F. Tompkins Celebrity Defender: Paris Hilton drunk driving; In Case You Missed It: Weatherman freaks out over cockroach, paparazzi laugh at Jamiraqai, Martha Stewart licks David Letterman’s blood, Nicole Ritchie on Tyra, The Week in _itney: Britney, Whitney & Jitney; Best Week Ever: Little Richard.

<I>Grey’s Anatomy</I>, Fergie, Daytime Talk, TMX Elmo; Sizzler: Lindsay Lohan actually hurt, Willie Nelson arrested, Jackie Chan admitted to doing porn (31 years ago) Courtney Love & Whitney Houston; <I>Greg Behrendt Show</I>; In Case You Missed It: Chicken Noodle Soup song, Barbie’s pooping dog, goofy composite sketch, <I>Wife Swap</I>: Pirates; This Week In Mario Lopez’s Ass; Best Week Ever: Arugula.

<I>Heroes</I>, <I>Desperate Housewives</I>, Janet Jackson, Oprah’s Road Trip, Screech’s Sex Tape; Sizzler: Tara Reid deflates, Miss Cleo is gay, Jessica Simpson’s rooster pendant; <I>Bratz Babyz the Movie</I>; In Case You Missed It: Chris Wallace interviews Bill Clinton, DJ Vindaloo, <I>Amazing Race</I>, Fox reporter Lisa Evers getting molested by a drunk, Drag queen mocks Beyonce’s video; Best Week Ever: Weird Al Yankovic