Honest Ads

If electric car commercials were honest, here's how they'd sound.

As it turns out, Leonardo DaVinci didn't know anything about men's anatomy, despite depicting it in art like, a lot.

If Local Tourism Ads were honest, here's what they'd say.

If Online Shopping Were Honest, here's what they'd say.

If Rideshare Apps Were Honest, here's what they'd say.

What if the job market was honest about the job search process?

College is going to be one of the biggest investments of your life, so why not spend a little extra buying a bunch of friends by joining a frat or sorority?

If organic food farms were honest, here's what they'd tell you about "eating clean"

Skincare, It's all about making money by destroying society's already low self-esteem.

What if nonprofits were honest about what they're up to?

The Cemetery Industry Makes Dying Even Spookier than it already is. So THIS is what happens to your body after you die

It's Bachelor Party Season! Horton's Concerningly Horny Stag Party Planning has you covered for all your bachelor and bachelorette party needs.

Will Vitamin Shops Really get you swole? Your Swole At Horton's Holistic Vita-World

How do you know if you can trust your plastic surgeon? At Dr. Roger's Dysmorphia Exacerbation Clinic, We've been Making The World Hotter Since 2012

Live Streamers Rise up! What's up Rogheads, the stream's about to start.

Looking for divorce lawyers? Hire Roger Horton For All Your Divorce Needs. Call 1-800-Actual-Lawyer Today.

Roger is your landlord now, and he's getting real honest about things.

What if casinos commercials were honest? Well, here at Horton’s Palace, we are.

What if fragrance ads were honest?

What if were your local movie theatre was honest?

What if were your neighborhood dispensary was honest?

What if were your neighborhood bar was honest?

All Roger, all in one place.

What if cruises were honest about your floating vacation?

What if podcasters were honest about the content they were making?

What if Marvel and DC and everybody else were honest about how they make their dumb comic book movies? Roger Horton investigates.

What if hospitals and health insurance companies like UnitedHealth Group, Anthem, Aetna, Cigna, Humana, and others were actually honest about how horrifically terrible they are? Roger Horton investigates.

What if Real Estate Companies and Realtors were actually honest about how horrifically terrible they are? Roger Horton investigates.

What if social media platforms like Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and TikTok were actually honest about how destructive and terrible they are? Well, everybody at Cracked might not have been fired for one.

What if Gaming Gear companies like SecretLab, Razer, Logitech, Alienware and others were actually honest about what they're ACTUALLY selling?

What if chocolate companies like Hershey's, Nestle, Mars, and others were actually honest about how horrifically terrible they are? Roger Horton investigates.

Insurance people are really just the superheroes of bending us over for the pleasure of paying them to do the bare minimum. Originally Posted In 2015

What if Wine Companies (vineyards?) were actually honest about how horrifically terrible they are? Roger Horton investigates.

What if toilet paper brands like Charmin, Cottonelle, Caboo were actually honest about that stuff we rub on our butt to rub other stuff off our butts? Roger Horton investigates... in ONE TAKE.

What if Internet Service Providers like Centurylink, Comcast, and Cox were actually honest about how horrifically terrible they are? Roger Horton investigates.

What if NFT collections like Bored Ape Yacht Club, Azuki, CloneX, and other such stupid crap were actually honest about what they were?

White Claw Summer is out, and Horton's Hard Poison Fizzy Summer is IN.

Everybody is familiar with money, but thanks to cryptocurrencies like Bitcoin, Dogecoin, Ethereum, Stellar, and Binance we can now exchange those boring green presidential napkins for sexy computer cash that’s easier to lose, far more volatile, slaughters the environment, and can’t be exchanged for the vast majority of goods and services! Honest!

If dentists were honest, nobody would ever go to the dentist. And, honestly, we'd probably be fine.

There's nothing quite like claiming your tax-free, multi-million dollar enterprise is inspired by an intentionally homeless, apolitical, friend of prostitutes who told religious leaders to pay their dang taxes.

Roger Horton returns for the first time since 2017 to explain why recycling is pointless and, even worse – basically just one big scam.

College is going to be one of the biggest investments of your life, which is why you should just trust what the student loan companies tell you without even thinking twice about how much you could be screwed after school has ended.

Bonnaroo, Coachella, Lollapalooza, Summerfest and other famous music festivals look cool on your friend's Instagram feed but let's be honest, they suck.

Now that we're starting to get this whole cigarette thing under control, can we take care of the junk food companies that are getting all of us addicted to chips, candy, and crackers? We just wish everyone would be more honest about snack foods.

Milk, dairy, cheese and lactose commercials are great and all but no one's ever actually looked into how much our consumption of mammal udder juice contributes to growing up big and strong, but we just roll with it anyway.

Want the best android and ios mobile games? Great! Just so we're all clear here when it comes to mobile games, 'freemium' means 'free until its time to steal your parents' credit cards so you can buy your way to the end of the game that never ends.' Now available on your favorite iPads and Android Tablets!

Theme parks, especially Disneyland, Disney World, and Six Flags are great if you enjoy being mentally (and financially) screwed with while you navigate a maze of barf, torture machines, and fried food.

Thanks to Apple and Fitbit Smart Watches are a great way to keep us honest and track data you couldn't before - because you actually didn't care about tracking it and probably still won't.

Sure, you can buy two 20-gallon drums of mayonnaise for the price of one at your local Superstore, like the crazy person you are. But at what cost to your local community?

If you've ever wanted to know what it's like to sell your soul and never get it back, just open up a credit card.

They say history is written by the victors, but it's actually written by publishers and politicians who all have agendas to push on high school and college kids. Hooray for public education and terrible textbooks!

Grocery stores are better at screwing with your head than they are keeping their shelves stocked.

Look, Cocoa Puffs are totally the bomb, but maybe eating the entire box in one day isn't such a great thing.

All purses inevitably end up being overpriced, tiny trashcans.

Brushing your teeth is overrated anyway.

Before you try to fast-track that weight loss resolution.

If you like hamburgers, maybe don't watch this video.

They SHOULD tell you, but don't because it's hard to market nightmares.

Let's just go back to blood-letting and bile drinking already.

When are guys going to have to start enduring the rigors of birth control?

Only good marketing could get the entire world addicted to black liquid that raises blood pressure and increases stress.

Enough with the maps! We don't even understand their meanings anyway.

Because if anyone needs real talk, it's gamers.

It's all about making money by destroying society's already low self-esteem.

If it's hot out and you're in dire need of refreshment, just grab yourself an ice cold bottle of candy.

Gyms: They're the only way you can get fit, aside from all the other ways, and the only place you can get juice, aside from lots of others.

Although there's still not enough gold jewelry.

You might as well just eat dyed sugar. It's probably healthier.

Turns out the only thing grosser than the food at McDonald's, Taco Bell, Wendy's and Burger King is how the commercials are made.